kyushoku
02-25-2012, 11:24 AM
Well, this is my first time posting anything on here. I know I'm bad at spelling, but please bear with me. I want your honest opinion on what you think about it, so please comment!!:bringit:
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My head ached and throbbed as I rolled over. Where I layed was wet and mushy and clinged to my back. Fog floated heavily all around me. The scent of rot and decay filled my nostrils, making my nose wrinkle. I had no idea where I was.
Making up my mind, I clenched my jaw against the pain between my temples and made my way to my feet, grabing something nearby for support. The world pitched and turned dizzily, making everything harder to understand. The greys and blues and greens mixed and swirled together, reminding me of barf. Truthfuly, it made me want to.
When the world settled and started to make sence, I made it my buisness to discover what I was supporting myself with. My eyes squinting through the dence air between the thing and I, making it hard to see the large arch protruding from the ground to just above my waist.
I leaned closer and saw that there was something written on it. Elegant letters formed the name of a person and two sets of numbers were carved below it. For a moment, it all confused me. What the heck was it supposed to mean? Then it dawned on me.
My eyes widened in horror, and I reeled back a few steps from the grave stone. After a look around, I realized it wasnt the only one. Rows and rows were sticking out of the ground in different shapes and sizes. I was in a graveyard.
Feet pounded across the ground, making soft crunches against the fallen leaves. My vision blurred through the tears, and I didn't realize it was me runnng untill my face slammed into the rusty bars of the gate surrounding the cemetary.
I fell to my butt and shook my head, disorientated yet again. Clawing my way back up, I followed the gate with my eyes to either side, trying to find the exit. The one that was on the oposite side of the vast land.
I hung to the bars for support and dragged myself across them. The slow process gave me plenty of time to try and make sence of averything. The only problem was, I couldn't remember anything. The thought scared me into a complete blankness of my mind. so quiet, in fact, that I could hear the soft sound of someone choking back a sob. A sound that made me tense and throw my back against the gate. Was it a ghost?
Apparently, making the bars of the gate rattle was a bad idea, because the shadows rippled and created a muscular form. The form of a man with scragley black hair and a slight limp when he stepped on his right leg. He wore jeans and a brown t-shirt, his heavily-lashed eyes narrowed at me.
"Who are you?" He askes me in a deep, gravely voice.
After a quick, thurough search through my mind, I came up blank and answered truthfully, " I don't know..."
The man's hand shot out and grabbed me by the front of my shirt. "Don't play these games with me!" he shouted, "Who the hell are you?!"
My eyes widened in fear, and I tried to pull back, but I was still against the cold metal. "I truely don't know!" My body squirmed, trying to losten his hold on me, "I can't remember anything!"
The cold truth said aloud shocked me even more than the thought. I couldn't help the sadness overflowing and felt the cold wetness of tears stream down my cheeks. I tried to stop them but it was like trying to stop a flood with a sewing needle. Absolutely impossible.
The man holding my shirt dropped me, probably feeling guilty. My legs were too week and I dropped my knees. Emberassed, I covered my face with my hands and hunched over so he couldn't see my face. What was wrong with me?!
His large hand griped my shouder in an appologetic gesture. "Hey, I'm sorry for scaring you like that, but you realy don't remember your name?"
I looked up at him with a sniff. I felt so pathetic, and, although everything was blurred, his look of sympathy proved me right. I shook my head and dropped it again.
We sat like that for a moment, my chest heaving with each shakey breath between sobs. Then, as if he came to a decision, he picked me up and adjusted me into a princess hold.
I jerked in surprize and wrapped my arms around his neck. The tears were finialy coming to an end, but sharp spazams still wracked my frail body. He rubbed my back sympatheticaly and made soft sushing sounds as he made his way to the cemetary's exit.
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I know it's short, but cut me some slack, I'm writing more:sdrop:
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My head ached and throbbed as I rolled over. Where I layed was wet and mushy and clinged to my back. Fog floated heavily all around me. The scent of rot and decay filled my nostrils, making my nose wrinkle. I had no idea where I was.
Making up my mind, I clenched my jaw against the pain between my temples and made my way to my feet, grabing something nearby for support. The world pitched and turned dizzily, making everything harder to understand. The greys and blues and greens mixed and swirled together, reminding me of barf. Truthfuly, it made me want to.
When the world settled and started to make sence, I made it my buisness to discover what I was supporting myself with. My eyes squinting through the dence air between the thing and I, making it hard to see the large arch protruding from the ground to just above my waist.
I leaned closer and saw that there was something written on it. Elegant letters formed the name of a person and two sets of numbers were carved below it. For a moment, it all confused me. What the heck was it supposed to mean? Then it dawned on me.
My eyes widened in horror, and I reeled back a few steps from the grave stone. After a look around, I realized it wasnt the only one. Rows and rows were sticking out of the ground in different shapes and sizes. I was in a graveyard.
Feet pounded across the ground, making soft crunches against the fallen leaves. My vision blurred through the tears, and I didn't realize it was me runnng untill my face slammed into the rusty bars of the gate surrounding the cemetary.
I fell to my butt and shook my head, disorientated yet again. Clawing my way back up, I followed the gate with my eyes to either side, trying to find the exit. The one that was on the oposite side of the vast land.
I hung to the bars for support and dragged myself across them. The slow process gave me plenty of time to try and make sence of averything. The only problem was, I couldn't remember anything. The thought scared me into a complete blankness of my mind. so quiet, in fact, that I could hear the soft sound of someone choking back a sob. A sound that made me tense and throw my back against the gate. Was it a ghost?
Apparently, making the bars of the gate rattle was a bad idea, because the shadows rippled and created a muscular form. The form of a man with scragley black hair and a slight limp when he stepped on his right leg. He wore jeans and a brown t-shirt, his heavily-lashed eyes narrowed at me.
"Who are you?" He askes me in a deep, gravely voice.
After a quick, thurough search through my mind, I came up blank and answered truthfully, " I don't know..."
The man's hand shot out and grabbed me by the front of my shirt. "Don't play these games with me!" he shouted, "Who the hell are you?!"
My eyes widened in fear, and I tried to pull back, but I was still against the cold metal. "I truely don't know!" My body squirmed, trying to losten his hold on me, "I can't remember anything!"
The cold truth said aloud shocked me even more than the thought. I couldn't help the sadness overflowing and felt the cold wetness of tears stream down my cheeks. I tried to stop them but it was like trying to stop a flood with a sewing needle. Absolutely impossible.
The man holding my shirt dropped me, probably feeling guilty. My legs were too week and I dropped my knees. Emberassed, I covered my face with my hands and hunched over so he couldn't see my face. What was wrong with me?!
His large hand griped my shouder in an appologetic gesture. "Hey, I'm sorry for scaring you like that, but you realy don't remember your name?"
I looked up at him with a sniff. I felt so pathetic, and, although everything was blurred, his look of sympathy proved me right. I shook my head and dropped it again.
We sat like that for a moment, my chest heaving with each shakey breath between sobs. Then, as if he came to a decision, he picked me up and adjusted me into a princess hold.
I jerked in surprize and wrapped my arms around his neck. The tears were finialy coming to an end, but sharp spazams still wracked my frail body. He rubbed my back sympatheticaly and made soft sushing sounds as he made his way to the cemetary's exit.
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I know it's short, but cut me some slack, I'm writing more:sdrop: