Don't Break My Heart

**Kirihara** · 05-07-2010 05:06 PM

Damn it, why do you play with my heart? How is it that when you’re around I laugh harder just because you’re there? Why do I feel the need to cry longer when you’re there just so I can feel your touch? Why do you know how to break me so easily when I’ve kept my emotions bottled up and guarded so carefully? Most importantly, why do I feel all these different emotions when you’re around?

I’ve been you’re friend since we were kids, I’ve always protected you. Never have I betrayed you, I have never not been there when you needed me. Yet, why? Why do you insist on playing with my emotions the way you do? Why do you make me cry out, and experience such brutal pain? I’ve always been your friend, have I not? Yet, you still make me go through such horrible things. I once thought that I knew you, but now that I’m more mature I’m not so sure.

- - - - - - - - -

He leaned over me, black hair hanging in his eyes completely covering them, but I could still clearly see the devilish smirk on his face. I already knew what was going through his perverted mind, and there was absolutely nothing I could do except try and stop him with my words. “D-don’t…” was the only thing that I had managed to say, and I already knew that I sounded pathetic. He merely smirked and lowered his head so that his face was closer to mine.

“Why?” he asked in a soothing voice as the smirk slid farther onto his face. “You know it’s what you want,” he breathed, letting his body rest on top of mine so that he didn’t have to hold himself up.

I winced as he lowered himself onto me, “N-no it isn’t. Don’t go making things up…” I muttered, not putting up a very good fight. Ignoring my comment, he went and pressed his lips against mine softly making a blush come to the top of my cheeks. Seeing this probably only amused him more for he pressed his mouth against mine harder, deepening the kiss. When our lips parted, I looked off towards the side trying to hide my red face. Truthfully, I had really enjoyed the kiss, but if he knew that I would never hear the end of it and I’d only be harassed more. ‘No, I can’t give in now,’ I thought to myself and struggled to sit up. He continued to sit on my chest though, looking thoroughly confused, he was used to me submitting to him after the first kiss. This time was different though, I wasn’t going to let him do what ever he wanted to with me.

“Come now, lay back down,” he murmured in my ear, obviously trying to regain control over the situation, but I wasn’t going to give in. I simply sat up taller and somehow, I’m not sure how, I got him to get off of my chest. He glared at me in disbelief, “Where do you think you’re going?” he asked curiously as he wrapped his arms around my neck. “Don’t think you’re getting away from me that easily,” he added. I pushed his arms away, and walked out of the room in a hurried way leaving him with his mouth open and confused.

Walking down the hallway I couldn’t help but feel guilty, I really didn’t want to be that mean about it. Only seconds later I heard footsteps coming down the hallway, at a running pace. Moments later I was pinned against the wall and none other than Haru stood in front of me, looking confused and a bit angry. “What do you-” I started to say, but was interrupted. He pressed his lips against mine with a little bit more force than he had earlier. I couldn’t help but blush, this was a school hallway and if someone saw us I probably would’ve died of embarrassment. “What if someone sees us?” was the only thing I could think of to say.

He glared at me, “Let them see,” Haru said narrowing his eyes slightly.

“But-” I started to object but he cut me off once again.

“Kiyoshi listen, I don’t know what I did to make you angry but I cannot afford to lose you now,” he stated. I felt my cheeks burn again, knowing that he cared so much for me made my heart race. I started to tell him that I wasn’t angry, but he pushed himself onto me rejoining our lips and forming a kiss once more. When he broke the kiss off, I glared at him, face red and eyes almost watering. “Kiyoshi, I… I love you,” he mumbled.

My eyes widened and I felt my face get hotter, if that was even possible, Haru had never said those words to me before. Instinctively if you loved someone back, your natural response would be ‘I love you too.’ That was just it though, I truly didn’t know how I felt about Haru. I needed time, and he had never given me a chance to think my feelings over, he always forced himself on me. I looked away, there was only one way to get my message across, and I wasn’t really looking forward to what I was about to do, in fact looking back on it I feel ashamed. I raised my hand high and slapped him. Slapped him right across the face, I didn’t slap him too hard at all, but I know it must’ve hurt emotionally. I glared at him for a moment, wanting to cry but I couldn’t back down now, no, it was far too late to do that.

I didn’t let another word escape my lips, I simply ran off down the hallway in order to hide the tears that ran down my face. Once I reached my dorm room, I opened the door and slammed it shut not caring who heard. I threw myself onto the bed and curled up into a ball, “Why must you make things so hard on me?” I thought desperately as I lay there. I turned the TV on, hoping that maybe something on television could occupy my mind for a bit. Before I knew it, an hour had passed, and there had yet to be a response from Haru. “Maybe he finally got the message…” I muttered to myself aloud, but just as that thought came into my head the door burst open.

In the doorway was Haru, looking depressed and worn out. “Kiyoshi…” he began but stopped because I had turned on my other side so I didn’t have to see his face. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to be too straightforward, and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt you,” he muttered, sounding as if he was about to cry. Now more than ever I wanted to run into his arms and tell him that it was all my fault but I didn’t budge. “So… I hope to see you later,” he added and shut the door gently.

I cried myself to sleep. It was just too much to take; he had gotten me so upset. I felt like a jerk, I felt as if I deserved to be hit. So the only thing I could do was sleep, like I always did when something was just too much for me to handle. When I awoke the TV was blazing before my eyes, flashing images that at first came out blurry but only minutes later I could see them clearly. What I saw took my breath away. On the screen, was Haru’s car and it was flipped over, mangled. The lady on the news was saying that the accident looked bad, and they couldn’t confirm if the passenger was going to survive or not yet.
I wanted to die…

This is my first story, and I hope you guys like it :] I don't know if I should continue or not, I guess it just depends on if anyone likes it or not. Feedback is apperciated.