Aishiteru - I love you

**Vamphire** · 06-17-2010 01:36 PM

Inspired by How To Say Goodbye by MoonExpressions on FanFiction -- but not nearly as sad

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I don't think I ever told you how much I love you, did I? And now it is too late, too late to say goodbye...

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The wind was whispering that afternoon, the gentle breeze carrying sakura petals past us as I watched your tousled hair delicately frame your face. You must have felt my gaze as we walked down the sakura lined pathway because you turned to look into my face, smiling.

I felt my heart jump in happiness, warring with the impending weight of what I had to tell you.

If I had known, I would have never left your side.

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Ano....

What is it?

Your voice was gentle, filled with a happiness I knew would shatter soon....

After graduation...

We had been dating for two years now, and it had been the happiest two years of my life.

Nani?

I breathed in, gathering my courage.

After graduation...I will be moving to America. I was accepted into a college in Pennsylvania...

I turned back to face you, finally looking into your eyes. It broke my heart, seeing your downcast face, your bangs attempting to hide the hurt in your eyes. Then, you smiled, a smile that did not quite reach your eyes as you looked up at me.

I hope you will be happy there.

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College life was fun -- but it was nothing compared to the feelings I felt when I was with you. The smiles, the laughs -- the warmth that moved between us, intensifying until nothing else existed for me as I stared into your eyes, lost to anything other than you.

I was homesick, and it began to affect me.

After finals, I booked a flight back to Japan for Winter Break. I watched the scenery change, the details fading as I flew higher into the sky.

Wait for me.

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I guess you never forgave me, did you?

When I had left, I knew you were going to Tokyo University -- you were that smart. But I guess a broken heart is stronger than intellect.

Because when I came back home -- you were gone.

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No one knew where you went.

You had abruptly left a week ago, disappearing into the shadows, to never be seen again. You left nothing behind, not even a note to tell us where you had gone. Everything -- all your possessions, belongings -- everything was gone.

And so were you.

I don't think I cried as much as I did the day I discovered that you were gone.

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I wandered around Tokyo for a week after that, my mind blank. I knew that you were a patient person -- how else could you have put up with a person like me? -- but I guess I had tested your limits and broke them. It was the only reason I could use to explain to myself why you would do something so rash when you were the level-headed one, the calm one. My decision must have caused unrepairable damage upon your heart -- were even our constant phone calls were not enough? -- until you could not take the pain and left.

I could feel the tears well up in my eyes again as I imagined you with a broken heart, wandering around somewhere with your suitcases of belongings, your eyes dulled with the same pain of separation that I saw that day under the sakura petals.

You never knew, because I never had the chance to tell you before I left. I wished I had told you how much I love you.

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I returned to America with a heavy heart, unable to believe how I could have abandoned you, driven you to take such drastic measures.

I wearily unlocked the door to the small dorm room I currently had to myself. They told me that I would have a new roommate for the second semester. I sighed -- another problem to contend with as I mourned the disappearance of my best friend...my lover....

Konnichiwa.

I froze for a second -- did I really just hear that? -- before I slowly raised my head.

You sat there, smiling, on the empty bed across the room.

I...couldn't stand being apart from you anymore...so I transfered here to be with you.

I shakily walked over to you, my trembling hand reaching up to gently brush your hair from your cheek. You closed your eyes as you leaned into my light touch.

I'm not dreaming, am I? I whispered in awe. You were there, really there in front of me.

I could feel the tears once again well in my eyes as I leaned forward, sobbing, to hug you into my chest. You froze stiffly for a moment before you raised your arms to circle around my back, drawing me closer to you.

I'm here now, you whispered into my ear as your hand stroked my hair.

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You were back, back by my side. Mine to hold, to kiss, to love.

Maybe one day soon I will tell you aishiteru...

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Key:
Sakura - Cherry Blossom
Nani - What (is it)
Konnichiwa - Good Afternoon
Aishiteru - I am in love with you / I love you