Maybe Someday

[Vamphire]

There are some days where I lose myself.

-----

The choking nausea that rose in my throat blinded me. I felt the world spin around me as I stumbled against a wall.

No more, I thought. No more...please.

I could beg, cry, scream, and it still wouldn't be enough. You would still leave me, wouldn't you? Without a backward glance, without a thought to the one you were leaving behind.

I could feel the tears begin to burn a fiery path down my cheeks. Why? I wanted to ask you. Why?...

Yet you still walk away from me.

-----

I think I had always known that this day would come. The one thing I had always hidden from you -- it would one day separate us.

And it had.

I am still crying with everything within me at your loss. Yet I knew this would happen, and I let it happen. I could no longer live in my fantasies of what I wanted when reality was so close, threatening to destroy me and my dreams.

Yet it still destroyed me in the end.

And I cannot help but let out a bitter laugh from my lips as I recognized the irony of the situation. Another Catch 22 in a life that needed none, that was already twisted in a way that could never be fixed.

-----

I already knew what would happen when I confessed to you. To you, who had many confessions before from the same sex -- and had scorned those who dared. You had told me -- your closest friend -- countless times how much you despised those who dared to admit such a thing, to even dare to fall in love with you. You, who was too good for that.

I knew -- before I confessed to you -- what would happen. Yet I still confessed. I still dared.

And you did not fail my expectations.

Your look of shock and disgust is imprinted into my retinas, your scathing words still echoing in my ears.

-----

I lift my head, bathing my face in the sudden downpour raining down upon me, soaking me to the core. It is a cleansing rain, one that promises a fresh start.

I find myself opening my eyes, watching the gray skies cry, matching my own current sorrows. Maybe I can start anew someday?

A small smile stretches my twitching lips. Maybe someday.

-----

AN: Quite frankly, I am surprised I written such a dark piece after all the fluffy stuff I've been writing recently. Oh well, at least it has a hopeful ending, right?

Thanks for reading.

[ima]

good as always wolphire... i wish i had that type of talent for writing