Sensations Are Just A Thing Of The Mind

[MiyaSess]

A/N: This a fanfiction based off the awesomeness that is Hinabn. If you haven't read it, educate yourself. The homolust will make you drool, trust me.
Anyway, this is short. But it's from a kink meme prompt that I'm writing in chapters so it's all good. Hope ya like, even though you'll be completely lost without looking at the link.

And of course that is if you can find it. Mwahaahahaha!!! xD


Chapter 1/? {...}

I know that even without my bringing it to his attention, Hanna will always be the type to worry. In a lot of cases it's adorable and endearing but the other percent of the time I can tell it's wearing on me. What can I say? I'm a zombie, a living undead. What more could possibly be done to me? Is there even a way to make me feel more than simple fleeting memories of emotions and physical sensations?

I admit, before I met Hanna I would frequent to more than just a random cemetery. I was curious really if I could feel anything even in its most remote form. I don't remember my past life so love was definitely not an emotion I can honestly say I understand. Back then, before Hanna, everything was new, an adventure within its own gritty scene to play.

In the sweet gentle caressing folds of a dark night and open arms of a promiscuous partner, I experienced my first real sensation. The lick of the whip was more nerve tingling than a hand shake. Goodness, I didn't even know my nerves could jump like they did. And don't get me wrong. I was completely caught off guard when I finally figured out I could get an erection. Biggest surprise really, compared to the sickness, the drug, I've grown so used to surrounding myself with.

I keep it a secret from Hanna. We're friends; there's no invisible code that says I have to tell him I used to visit dungeons. He'd definitely think of the wrong thing anyway. My dungeons are nothing like what he could ever imagine. There, is where my entire body aches in a mixture of pain and pleasure. There, I climax with nothing but strikes to my bare ass while my arms are tied behind my back.

I know I'm addicted to the sensations but like a moth to the flame, I'm drawn back to it each time. Hanna's worrying becomes a problem when he decides to notice the subtle markings around my wrists past the cuff links of my shirt. I tell him they're nothing and have probably been there since I was killed. With one look of gullibility he believes me and the subject is dropped. But I can tell he's eager to know why once in a while the wounds on my wrists are as fresh as blooming flowers.

I could never tell him of my addiction. My drug. My sickness.

From an outsider's standpoint what I enjoy is cruel and inhuman. But I'm a zombie, I no longer count as part of the human species. My craving to be tied up and then brought to whimpering moans just feel what I know isn't blood rush through dry veins. I'm dead, so there can't possibly be anything wrong with me. In order to feel, my Dom teases me with a whip. In order to be alive again if only for a few seconds, I throw myself into the rapture of leather, rope and a galore of metallic toys.

This is who I am. This is how I get off. I am a submissive, who craves for nothing more than to feel the sensation of pleasure run through my lifeless body. Only that which leaves a mark, makes the sensation all the more worth it. Hanna's decided to call me Malachi for today.

And slowly I'm beginning to feel a small warmth inside. I smile, placing another point for myself up on Hana's imaginary board at the thought that he's the cause of it all.

[yaoi dudet lover]

O_O mmmmmmm, YAOI TAKES ME TO HEAVEN TOO! ^_^

[MiyaSess]

xD, glad ya liked ^^

[MiyaSess]

Chapter 2/? Hanna


Slowly I feel myself liking him more and more. And not in the 'hey-despite-the-fact-that-your-a-zombie-I-think-we-make-a-pretty-good-team-let's-stay-this-way-forever' kind of like. We've been together for a good few months, not as a couple obviously, but I don't mind it in the least. I'm actually quite glad really. My only problem is approaching him about it. How am I supposed to tell him? What if he doesn't feel the same way?

Well honestly, I've no idea what I'm doing. Should it really matter to question about the unknown and if's so early?

I'm freaking Hanna Falk Cross. I don't think about the majority of my choices beforehand anyway. Well, technically it's more so a spontaneous calculation. And so far its worked out pretty damn good.

Except for what happened to Conrad. I could have so totally avoided turning him into a vampire. Ah well, there's really no point dwelling on it now. He seems fine enough….I think.

Wait, why am I even thinking about Connie?

Ah, that's right; he and Worth are…I guess a nice way of putting it, together. I wonder if I should ask for advice? Worth would laugh at first but probably tell me to just do it, and Connie…for some reason I can't see any other reaction than him flailing into a fit of waving arms and shouting 'It's not like that'. I can't very well ask Toni because she's a girl or maybe it's because she's female that I can't ask her? Lately the internet's told me that rabid yaoi fangirls are not something I'd like to run into, especially with the type of question I have.

Hm...maybe I should just go with what my heart feels? I mean, because I'm feeling pretty damn jittery and confident at the same time that this could actually work. And, even in the event of failing, what could possibly go wrong or get worse between us? Nothing really, other than a couple of awkward moments. Argh, why am I making this harder than it really is?

"...Hanna?" His voiced pulled me from my thoughts and I glanced up at his tall figure with an apologetic smile. I rubbed the back of my head, ruffling my curly hair in the process.

"Sorry, I didn't catch that, what's up?" I asked him, trying so hard not to stare at those beautiful eyes that glowed slightly even during mid-day. God, sometimes I don't bother imagining him alive anymore. He's just perfect the way he is presently. He gave a small chuckle in response.

"I was asking what you'd like for dinner, since it is getting dark and you haven't eaten anything yet." Still with a blank expression but I could feel the warmth behind his concern. He really was unbelievably cool. I shrugged my shoulders.

"Eh, I don't know, how about breakfast dinner? I'm craving pancakes something hard over here. What do you think?" With a smile and another point to his tally on my imaginary board he nodded, moving into the small kitchen of my home and started to prepare. I followed him, sitting in a chair at the table as I rested my chin of the top and watched him.

He took out the ingredients, almost methodically now that he knew where everything was. The pan was next, along with the spatula and bowl for the batter. Preheating the stove he got to work, almost like he had made pancakes all his life, like a small muscle memory of his past surfacing as he cooked. Breaking the news of my attraction to him over pancake breakfast dinner seemed the best solution.

I'm content with how we are at present, but I'd like to experiment and see how far we can move forward together. With a smile I've decided to call Malachi, Leonardo for tonight. This seems the best way to break the news. I'm pretty sure of it now.

I love you Leonardo.